The TRUTH will set you FREE

        MASKOFF

It is nothing better than being honest with God, yourself and others.

I can’t hold up this front any longer.

Lately I’ve been feeling down and don’t know why.

I’ve been waking up every morning putting on this happy mask when deep down inside I want to die.

Depression is no joke and I’ve been dealing with this for a while in silent.

It started getting real bad this month when I started cutting myself.

Over the weekend I started drinking and I took some pills( BIG MISTAKE)

I just wanted to feel good for ONE NIGHT.

I’ve been wanting to commit suicide but when there was a chance I could actually lose my life I realized I DIDN’T WANT TO DIE!

Those pills had me feeling a way I never felt before and not in a good way,  they didn’t make me feel as good as I thought they would.

When I finally came down from my high(Which lasted for three whole days) I started thinking, this isn’t the life I want.

Everyone handle certain situations differently. I’ve been through a lot and  haven’t fully recovered (mentally).We all go through trials and tribulations but we must RISE ABOVE IT.

God keeps giving me chance after chance and I don’t deserve it.  After all the crazy situations I put myself in I promise you I learned my lesson. GOD I HEAR YOU!

I will no longer use alcohol, drugs nor sex to cure my depression , I will seek professional help.

Depression will not win.

I will continue to strive to be the hardworking , loving woman that I know I can be, after all I have a little sister looking up to me I can’t afford to make anymore dumb decisions.

I HAVE A PURPOSE ON THIS EARTH AND IT WILL BE FULFILLED.

What in the “HELL”

I die from an unknown illness.

My body starts floating in the air. I’m up here with the clouds.

It’s so beautiful.

My body starts shifting, it starts getting dark.

I’m falling. As I’m falling down this deep hole , I see people around me burning & screaming.

When I finally land… this big red looking monster with horns starts walking towards me. He grabs my hand and starts dancing.

He says ”You made it, I’m so glad you’re here, all your lying , cheating, and sexual experiences lead you to me”

I start crying, begging God to help me.

As I look up there you are.

I see you. Like when Mufasa was speaking to Simba from the sky.

I cry out and show you this small book ” look at all the good things I’ve done”

After all the crying & begging you finally let me out. You told me this is my last chance to make things right.

Right then I knew exactly what I had to do.

I had to pick a side. I can’t say I love God then turn around and dance with the devil, it don’t work like that.

I CHOOSE GOD.

Season Over.

Every season must come to an end once you’ve fulfilled your purpose and you have to be okay with that.

When the season is over, instead of getting upset or discouraged try being thankful. Thankful for the opportunity.

Keep your head high & Get ready for your next assignment.

Daddy issues?

All I ever wanted was love.

Was I having sex with all these men because I was missing you?

They say I’m a hoe because I have daddy issues but I never wanted to blame you.

I knew I had a problem when I called every guy daddy.

When I needed you, where were you?

I remember you telling me not to ever let a n*gga play me but I did because you weren’t there.

Only thing daddy princess wanted was you.

TOUGH COOKIE.

If you’ve been battling depression and you’re still here, I want you to pat yourself on the back because it’s not easy.

Keep fighting.

YOU GOT THIS.

Energy

The same energy you have for these men, use that same energy in your relationship with GOD.

Learn to LOVE YOURSELF ugly duckling.

Ugly means unpleasant or repulsive , especially in appearance.

Let’s be clear, everything & everyone God created is BEAUTIFUL.

Growing up & even sometimes now people always told me how I should wear my hair, what clothes to wear and how much makeup to put on as if I wasn’t beautiful enough.

Comparing myself to others made me insecure.

What people fail to realize is; EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL IN THEIR OWN WAY.

When you find out who you are,  folks comments about your appearance will no longer bother you.

No matter what color, shape, height or size you are, you are freaking BEAUTIFUL